Wicked Jester
New Member
Jobber
Who is THE KING OF PRANKS!
Posts: 148
|
Post by Wicked Jester on Jan 6, 2005 6:43:38 GMT
Wicked Jester's Morbid Gesture!
[/color] **** Joshua Rinsky, the ExWA T.V. director of operations, hangs up the phone, leans back in his leather upholstered, claw footed, presidential recliner and cackles endlessly. The door swings open to Josh's surprise. It is his old friend Patrick Lombard, the Jwa:Ewa ring announcer, endearingly known as "Pissy". Josh scolds Pissy for not knocking first. Then directs Pissy to sit down, tosses him a fat cigar and tells him to relax a few minutes, as an idea pops into Josh's manipulating mind. Josh punches numbers into his office phone and carefully disguises the blinking buttons across the phone's top bar.
****Mr. Rinsky**** Hello is the police chief in? Oh hi chief, so what is the deal. Can we arrest him? That's right Chief! We've got it all on tape. What do you mean, you can't arrest him? My best new camera man Stan is at the hospital right now, in the mental section. He's mumbling incoherently, staring at the ceiling and twitching, all crazy like. What do you mean we have to bring the law suit before you can do anything. This man is walking around in public manhandling and scaring innocent people as we speak. So you're saying that there are issues about whether the camera crew was on his property, or what kind of permission type questions that can only be answered by the law suit it's self. Yeah, I understand. It just pisses me off that this low life punk is not behind bars.
**** Josh slams down the phone, ignoring Pissy, while muttering obscenities. Josh picks up the phone again, squashing the tiny numbers like he was poking eye sockets. He courteously wades through the mine field of secretaries and line directors, as Josh rolls his eyes and mutters the usual Crowe, Lambert and Linguiny, how may help you, jargan. Josh finally connects with Sling Linguiny. Sling, a long time attorney for the ExWA, reassures Josh that he is writing the suit and will have it filed with copies of the tape this afternoon. Josh growls out about his concern for the public safety in the mean time. Sling considers his concerns.
****Mr. Rinsky**** I love it Sling. Maybe we can't have him jailed, but at least we can make him think twice about any further antagonizing of the innocent public. Thanks man, I'll let you get back to work.
**** Josh hangs up the phone and smiles at Pissy. As Pissy removes the fat cigar from his bulbous lips and remarks. ****Patrick Lombard**** Howdy Josh, what was that all about?
**** Josh confidently explains the whole situation to Pissy, narrating virtually word for word of the lawyers phone conversation. ****Patrick Lombard**** Interesting... well I just stopped by to give you a picture of some of the boys. As you can see, they are starting a Pickett line in front of the Jwa:Ewa. I'm late to pick up my kid, gotta go for now, but thanks for the cigar.
**** Mr. Rinsky watches eagerly as Pissy waddles out the front office doors, as tears come to Josh's eyes that quickly explode into laughter. Pissy finally drops off his kid at karate class, before showing up at Morbid's drive way. He knocks feverishly as Morbid Angel swings back the front door and scowls at him. ****Patrick Lombard**** Morbid! It's me Patrick, you remember me, from Jwa:Ewa. I have some terrible news to tell you about. I just overheard Joshua Rinsky talking on the phone to police and lawyers about a law suit against YOU.
**** Pissy proceeds to explain the whole story to Morbid practically word for word as he heard it in Josh's office. Morbid begins to grind his teeth just as a police car turns into the drive way. A police officer wearing black nerd glasses with the name tag of Shelton below his gold badge, slams the driver's door, struts up to Morbid Angel and hands him a document. ****Officer Shelton**** This is for you Mr. Angel. You've been served! ****Morbid Angel**** Look I don’t give a flying fuck about this crap! You guys got one minute to get the hell outta here. ****Officer Shelton**** You just make damn sure you show up in court Mr. Angel. And maybe you had better leave also sir, he seems a bit irritated right now.
**** Officer Shelton spins his tires as he follows Pissy out the gate. Morbid shakes his head in disgust and returns to his castle. He fixes a bloody "angel" mary, kicks back on his oversized black leather sofa and begins to read the summons to himself. ****Morbid Angel**** This is such a load of crap! And what the fuck is this part? They are saying that because they believe that the public is at risk that the court has the duty to order me into a hearing tomorrow at noon. This ExWA T.V camera crew is going to pay for this bullshi*.
**** Morbid Angel parts the court house doors the next day, at five minutes till noon. With dark blackened eyes and growling sneer he sombers down the hall to court room seven. He mutters a last prayer to the dark lord and swings open the court room doors to oddly find a smirking Wicked Jester making a gesture, as if to make a toast. Officer Shelton pouts as if to say "baby wanna donut". ****Officer Shelton**** Haven’t you heard fool! Wicked Jester is the KING of PRANKS!!![/u] ;D TBC- Morbid Angel Or ?? [/center]
|
|
|
Post by goldberg on Jan 6, 2005 8:01:07 GMT
goldberg enters exwa and the cameras are following his every foot step and he starts making his way to the ring and he gets in the ring and grabs the mic and starts to talk
GOLDBRG:so 3T you wont to fight me one - on - one in the ring well i dont mind fighting you one - one - one because i no that i will kick your ass and you all no that i will and there is also anouther person who wont to fight me one - on - one and that is john cena and i will fight you both but we should make it an intresting match we should make it a non holds bar triple threat match and the will be the main event but its up to dave masters and what he think about my idea but you carnt just come to this fed and just say that you wont to fight me because you no that you will kick my ass because you dont and you dont even no what im capable of doing to you and i can do alot of things to you and if you do wont me one - on - one for the deathmatch title that i might win well i wont put it on the line but thats even if i do win the fatal 4 way match and i probaly wont but if i do win the title i wont put it on the line eneyway but thats up to dave masters so if you do wont me one - on - one you can forget that because i would rather have it a no holds bar triple threat match between 3T vs john cena vs me goldberg and that will be the match of your life becaus you will get the beating of your life
goldberg drops the mic on the floor and gets out the ring and starts walking to his locker room and he gets in the locker rooms and sits down and starts to think for a wile.
soz its a bit short
|
|
|
Post by Virus on Jan 6, 2005 17:58:48 GMT
“Seven Nation Army” rattles from the speakers causing a pulse of wonderment through the crowd. People begin to mutter and a ripple of applause and cheering can be heard. TNT watches on, as Gold and Silver pyros rain down from the Xtreme Vision, sending the crowd into am frenzy. Out walks Virus, wearing the JWA:EWA Championship around his waist.
He starts screaming at the crowd, and beating his chest, standing around enjoying the moment, before walking down to the ring. He stares at TNT, and keeps his eyes fixed on him. He slides under the ropes and into the ring, and runs at TNT. TNT runs at Virus, and for a few seconds it looks as though the pair are about to tear into each other, but they hug each other. Virus slaps TNT on the back, and shakes his hand. TNT hands the mic over to Virus, who begins to speak --/-/-/-/--VIRUS--\-\-\-\--[/b][/color] Code Red. Code Red indeed. Listen up “Mental” Johnny Magnum, when I said TNT here had friends in high places, I wasn’t kidding, meet the newest member of Code Red, the most dominant superstar in Action Zone history, the last ever JWA:EWA Champion, Virus. I have been summoned here to ExWA by my friend TNT, to help him forge the most dominant stable in Xtreme Zone history, and to deal with a jacked up bitch by the name of Johnny Magnum. I couldn’t resist the challenge, as you can see. So you called out TNT? Well you got him, more than you bargained for you arrogant steroid abusing “punk” as you would say. I demand you accept either a one on one match with me, Virus and if I win, you have to be TNT’s servant for two weeks, or “The Untouchables” take on TNT, Tiger, Virus, and our fourth member in a handicap match--/-/-/-/--TNT--\-\-\-\--You hear that Magnum? I hope it finally gets through to you, you need pulling back down to Earth, your ego is far to big, I don’t care how good you think you are, you and your muscles, oh, and Flair, can’t take all four of us, and you’d better believe that, because if you don’t, then Code Red is gonna beat you down like you wouldn’t believe. --/-/-/-/--VIRUS--\-\-\-\--[/b][/color] You’d better listen to him dawg, or your career in ExWA is gonna be over before it’s even begunVirus and TNT start laughing, and the fans start cheering “Code Red!” “Code Red!”--/-/-/-/--VIRUS--\-\-\-\--[/b][/color] That’s right, Code Red and Virus are the future of this organization, Johnny Magnum is not, so come on, me and you, one on one, or the handicap tag match, your call chump, I know we’ll win either way, look at you, you’re just a pumped up addict who thinks he can rule the roost because he has a few muscles, big deal! It’s the moves that you have that count, and how you apply them, not how fat you are, and you will learn that. The JWA:EWA may have shut down, but this championship meant something, it meant I was and still am the best at what I do, so I don’t know who you are, or what you’re doing strutting in here like you own the place, but you’d better keep your mouth shut until you actually accomplish something to brag about. I’m gonna love seeing you as TNT’s slave, you’ll be the Code Red bitch, I’ll see to that, your old pal Flair is too decrepit to do anything to save you. Come on out Magnum, your time is up, I wanna see what you have to say to my little proposal, fuck face, come on, show me you’re a real manVirus and TNT await for the arrival of “Mental” Johnny Magnum, and to see how he cries like a baby when he realizes who he’s fucked with.[/color][/center] OOC: Sorry so short, I’m not feeling to good, n exams n all.
|
|
|
Post by 3T on Jan 6, 2005 19:16:12 GMT
Before 'Mental' Johnny Magnum can respond to Virus and TNT, the XtremeVision flickers on, showing Twiztid Tequila Thomas, backstage.
He looks up at the cameraman, and grins, despite the blood pouring down his face.3T Pardon me, TNT, Virus. I didn't mean to interrupt, but I just witnessed Goldberg running his mouth about his second loss. How do I know it's a second loss, when he hasn't had a first? He doesn't have the desire to hold the Deathmatch title. He said it in his own words. 'for the deathmatch title that i might win well i wont put it on the line but thats even if i do win the fatal 4 way match and i probaly wont but if i do win the title i wont put it on the line eneyway but thats up to dave masters'. Even if he does win, he won't put it on the line against me. Why is that, Goldberg? Is it because I'm the most hardcore son of a bitch in this federation? Is it because you know you don't have a chance in hell of winning a match with me? Look at you, you pathetic fuck! You couldn't hack it in WCW. You couldn't hack it in WWE. Fuck, you couldn't even hack it in JWA:EWA! Chronic carried you the whole way, and now, he's not there to help you. And, now you're scared. You didn't even want to fight me one-on-one. You wanted to put John Cena in the mix, hoping he'd take me out, so you wouldn't have to worry about me. But, I'm going to fix that. You want a triple-threat match? Fine. But, it's going to be an Elimination Match. You want it to be no-holds-barred? Fine. But, it's going to be a Barbed-Wire match. Are you sure you're ready to fight me? In JWA:EWA, I was a two time Extreme 24/7 champion, and I'm the reigning HaRdCoRe champion. Goldberg, everyone always asks 'Who's Next?'. Well, I've got the answer. You Are. Beat me if you can, survive if I let you! 3T waves the cameraman away, as he pours water on his face, to rinse off the blood. As the cameraman backs out of the room, 3T pulls a needle and thread out of his bag and starts stiching up the wound.
|
|
|
Post by goldberg on Jan 6, 2005 20:21:13 GMT
goldberg walks to the ring and grabs the mic and starts to speak
so you wont me one - on - -one well you have got the match you wanted and we can have it a barbedwire match if you wont because i dont care what match we have because i no that im going to kick your ass and no im not scared of you im not scared of eneyone and to be onest if i lose the fatal 4 way it dosent matter because i will get outher matches for the deathmatch title in the future and if you have the deathmatch title in the future i will just have to kick your ass for the title and it will happen and i do want you one - on - one and if you do want it a barbedwire match well you have got your match and i will kick your ass in that match and in any outher match that we have so if you wont to fight me just bring it fucker
goldberg drops the mic and walks back stage and on his way he sees 3t and he stops and stares at 3t for a couple of mins and then he walks of to his locker room and sits down and thinks about how he is going to kick 3t ass
|
|
|
Post by Disciple on Jan 8, 2005 17:27:26 GMT
The alley way is damp and cold and fog rises from the exposed pipes a shadow walks into view of the camera his sleak full length leather trench coat glistens in the light he pauses and leans against the wall
So you guys found me after all huh and just to think I didnt think you would be smart enough to follow the bodies I left for you
There he is lets g et him
A group of gang members ome out of the shadows and approach Disciple a rather large man dressed in jeans and a torn wife beater approaches Disciple
So Disciple you thought that you could get away with killing my men and then getting away that easy
I got this far didnt I (smirks)
I'm gonna kill you you you fuckin rat
The gang circles around Disciple and their leader and the two in the center square up The Leader lunges at Disciple and Disciple qwuickly sidesteps the rather large man
To slow
The leader turns around and begins to swing at Disciple and again Disciple moves away from the blow
Strike 2
The leader become impatient and throws two of his best men into the ring and they both go to attack Disciple and they make the mistake of missing him as well
STRIKE THREE
Disciple begins attacking the last two men thrown in at him Disciple moves with the gracefulness of a dancer but the ferociusness of a animal he quickly dispatches of these two men with well placed kicks to thier faces shattering their noses causing them to fall into bloody heaps upon the ground Disciple stands there looking at his destruction he then looks up at the remaining members he bekons them to step up and fight but the all run
Hey Come Back I aint done yet
Disciple looks on in rage and he then notices that the leader is trying to make a run for it as well Disciple chases him down and gets within enoungh distance to attack the leader Disciple springboards off of an adjacent wall and kicks the Leader in the back of his had causing him to fall to the ground face first Disciple stands over the fallen man and looks on as his opponent picks up his teeth while also spitting out blood and a few other things Disciple then begins to kick the man in his ribs not allowing him to get up to his feet Disciple appears to get mad and he starts taunting the opponent and talking smack to him
Get Up Bitch
Again Disciple kicks his downed opponent and then he lifts him to his feet and tightens his grip on his neck
DIE
Disciple throws his opponent into the wall and delivers a super kick directly to his face causing a river of blood to spurt from his now caved in face
EWA get ready for the Day Of Darkness is UPON YOU
Gang Leader Disciple Scene Shadows
|
|
G-Dawg
New Member
ExWA Eurocontinental Champion
Posts: 131
|
Post by G-Dawg on Jan 9, 2005 1:41:26 GMT
G-Dawg is seen walking through the hallways of the ExWA with a smile on his face and a St. Louis Rams hat on with a matching Tory Holt jersey. He passes some farmiliar faces from JWA like Vegito, Flair, Tiger, Corpse, and many others. Some of them he nods to..others he just passes them by as if he never even saw them. He sees 3-T who used to be in D-X with him but is now with the Untouchables..he stares at him in disguist.
G-Dawg: Mmmmm, I thought you would never kneel down to this level 3-T. Joining up with Flair, and that ass hole Magnum...get your head on straight man. Thats just disguisting T. I mean Flair and Magnum..I would have expected more of you...but you'll be in for a little surprise T. What it is, you will just have to wait and see. But trust me..it will be surprise for all of you. Be ready T.
3-T has an odd look on his face as G-Dawg walks off. G-Dawg has a smirk on his face as he walks off and under his breath he says.."Just you wait and see!". He goes into his lockerroom and lays down on the couch. He sits there staring up at the ceiling before turning the tv on to ABC to see the last play of the Seahawks Rams game. That puts a smile on his face and he turns it off right after he sees the final score of 27-20.
G-Dawg(thinking): Gosh..this is just like the JWA. Almost the exact same people except for no Al. This just feels so much like home its unreal. And with the new faces..this has to be the best company in the industry..so why not head after that Gold title after a little while and be known as the best ALL around. Sounds like fun. Thats what I'll do, after I get that Eurocontinental Title and make my big impact with you-know-who then I'll be the biggest name in this copmany..maybe ever the biggest in the industry.."
After his little thought time he switches the t.v back on and he watches the Jets Chargers game. He starts to get into it after a while but soon afterwards he grabs a beer and takes a couple of sips. He lays down after awhile and the second his head hits the pillow he falls asleep with the scene fading to black.
*quite possibly the worst rp i have ever posted..EVER..but i had to get in my 2nd rp and this was all I had time for..sorry*
|
|
|
Post by Needles "the Snitch" on Jan 19, 2005 15:48:53 GMT
Infinite Equation
[/color] **** A single proton clustered to a nucleus and orbited by electrons, generating the gravitational muscle to attract similar atoms to form the molecule that gathers with like molecules in the eventuality of becoming a spec. This spec multiplies with the masses of others to form the dust that is swept out the door of the Lazy Rope Tavern. The dust mingles with the air, through which can be seen, the pothole filled parking lot to the far north end of Whitley’s Pharmacy. Whitley’s, located six blocks past the railroad tracks that dissect the southeast corner of the metropolis well advertised for it’s latest addition of the ExWA arena, stands menacingly deserted on the wind swept outskirts as the quivering Out Of Business sign denotes it’s demise. The City had undergone hard times with the closing of the elastic band jock strap manufacturer and the overall public disinterest for eight track stereos that brought it’s electronic powerhouses to a standstill, wherein the cumulative effect placed tens of hundreds on the bricks. Yet the people remained hopeful for they knew their City carried the true luxury of location, lovingly nestled in this expansive, barren, wind swept and mineral free valley, it lay like a rare jewel buried miles beneath the Los Angeles county dump. A North American location, bordered by two great oceans whirling on the small blue green planet in near perpetual push pull defiance of centrifical force and gravity. The solar system of it all, engaging in its own winless battle against the forces of limitless galactic advantage. This galaxy, acting in poetic grace and in concert with potentially limitless other galaxies, all together bow with respect to their mother cauldron, infinity itself. She stretches outward beyond the encompassment of the most liberal of imaginations to finally come to rest in her ultimate completion as that of a spec within the greater scheme of the truly unlimited reality. Time itself begins to exhale as all reverses and the heavens once again expand. Every last liter is squeezed out as the picture returns to the swept dust mixed with oxygen now being sucked up by the pink lungs of our inconsequential hero Needles “the Snitch".
****Needles**** Hi ya Mack. Are ya just opening up? I noticed that your sign hasn’t been turned on yet. If yer open, I’ll have a pitcher of Miller draught. Needles enters the bar as Mack sweeps some more dust outthe door. Boy this place looks like a war zone. What happened to the pool table? ****Mack The Bartender**** Hi Needles, Yea I just opened up. Haven’t had time to catch the sign light or finish sweeping up yet and I’ll need a few minutes to get the taps going. That big Clown Wicked Jester chopped up the pool table in a fight with Reaper. He said he would cover the damage and the truth is that he is good for business. He does all those great Clown tricks for the customers.
**** Needles doesn’t say that he suspects Wicked Jester of being the one who has been running around frauding as him and sending messages to ExWA competitors and staff both publicly and privately that have gotten him in trouble with the ExWA. Needles doesn’t say that he has been on the lamb from a bunch of wrestlers and that he has devised a plan to get back at Jester. ****Needles**** I’m going to sit over in the booth Mack. I have some thinking to do. Bring the pitcher over when it’s ready.
**** Mack brings the pitcher to Needles and tells him that this one is on the house. Needles thanks him as Mack walks over, turns on the sign light and proceeds to sweeping up the bar. Needles thinks deeply about the fun he has had with his short time in the ExWA. His nostrils begin to flair as he considers how it was now all spoiled by some clown pulling a prank and pretending to be him. Needles further ponders the evidence that points to the alleged King of Pranks, Wicked Jester. Needles envisions how he will have the final last laugh. The door swings open and in walks two sexy young ladies dressed in short shorts, tube tops, gaudy jewelry and beehive hair do’s, some kind of valley girl wannabe’s. They swaggle over to Needles. ****Valley Girl**** Hey sexy. Damn you’re cute. We’re over here. Why are you looking over there?
**** Needles rolls his eyes from side to side to appear as though he is looking at them. ****Valley Girl**** Wow, I have never had a man look at me like that. You’re something else baby. You want to party with us?
**** Needles smiles a bit embarrassed and informs the two little trouser trouts that he is busy planning a surprise for a friend. The two shrug as if to say ‘you’re loss baby’ and head down to the other end of the bar to play pool on the back table. Mack opens the door to sweep out the last of the dust as the Happy Mobile of Wicked Jester pulls up in front.
[/center]
|
|
|
Post by Needles "the Snitch" on Jan 19, 2005 16:06:06 GMT
Harvey
[/color] ****Wicked Jester**** Hi ya Mack. Are ya just opening up? Hey, sorry about last week when I accepted the challenge to a drinking match with Respawn. I didn’t know he couldn’t hold his liquor that bad. ****Mack The Bartender**** Oh, that’s alright. After all, we are in the business of selling booze here. I have already gotten the juke box fixed and I telegrammed the bill to Respawn. We’ve been open for about an hour. I’m just doin a bit of clean up, come on in and I’ll fix ya up.
**** Mack holds wide the door as Jester enters and makes his way to his usual stool at the bar. ****Wicked Jester**** As far as the pool table Mack, I’ll put ya in my will. Make it a pint of Lucky draught Mack. I’m trying to stay sober so I can find this little shrimp snitch fellow that has been dogging the ExWA and fucking with every body with some weird kind of hypnosis or something. What do you mean you've never heard of him, Mack? Most folks I talk to are afraid of him for some reason. Well, he's this wannabe skinny little fuck who has been running around sending messages to ExWA competitors and staff both publicly and privately that has gotten me in trouble with the ExWA. With his strange hypnotic powers he thinks he's some kind of this, that and a bag of potato chips. If I believed this sh!t, I would probably be shaking in my clown shoes right now and all worried that he might be listening to us talking right now. I never saw him fight, but all of these wanna-be's have no chance against a real clown. It is a completely different style than any wrestler has ever dealt with. It is the overwhelming art of the PRANK! And if you ask anybody who is the King of Pranks, I guarantee you, that’s me.
**** Jester flips a coin into the air. Mack’s eyes momentarily stray and return to the vase of tulips now on the bar before him. Jester catches and pockets the coin and peeks up at the wowed bartender. ****Mack The Bartender**** How did you do that? Damn, that was fast. ****Wicked Jester**** I just picked those outside Morbid Angel’s funeral parlor. Give em a good home. ****Mack The Bartender**** Hey Jester, can ya give me a hand bringin down a couple of kegs in the back room?
**** Jester follows along sticking his tongue out and ogling the two trouser trouts at the far end of the bar as he dips in to the back room. An ominous skinny figure emerges from a booth directly across from Jester’s fast flattening beverage. Needles glides the room, slithering his hand in to the inside pocket of his floor length cape and looming over the still warm stool that just recently supported the King. A capsule is broken over the frothy beverage as Needles slips out the door in to the blinding sunshine of the early day. Mack thanks Jester for the help as he plops his big clown feet in a bee line straight for the trouser trouts. With his usual, Hey baby, wanna clown around, he is responded to with an unusual, no thanks I prefer the big eyed skinny types like the guy that just left. Jester looks around to no avail and walks back to his seat. He pauses, shakes his head and knocks back the entire pounder of liquid gold brew. Mack files back and pushes another brew in front of the melancholy clown. The two, bob their heads to the gag me with a spoon, valley girl type tune that one of the chicks just played on the newly stocked juke box. ****Mack The Bartender**** I gotta talk to Carl about the kind of music he puts in that damn thing. **** Jester considered the extensive time he had been training to be assured of his earth shattering launch into the ExWA. It was early in the game and he knew that the weasels would quickly be ferreted out. He began to bask in the sureness that he would leap like hurdles over the unwary and unworthy newcomers. But this Needles guy… was a little hard to read. Could it be that Jester, so early on might draw a match with the one customer that could possibly have a chance? Could it be that this illusion of a man really had hypnotic powers over him? Could it be that this is the one, freak of nature, whom truly can’t take a joke? ****Wicked Jester**** NAAAAAAAAAA! **** Jester pats his own back and looks toward the clock on the wall. The numbers seem to drip as he squints to make out the time of 10:05. A rush of anxiety comes over him as he turns to realize the wallpaper has changed to a red and white striped circus tent pattern. He looks slowly at his hands pulsating with blood as waves of gentle static roll up his arms, then down into his belly. Jester churns his head to engage eye contact with the odd creature floating in the sky next to him. ****Odd Creature**** Hello, my name is Harvey.
[/center]
|
|
|
Post by Needles "the Snitch" on Jan 19, 2005 16:08:08 GMT
Tripping The Clown
[/color] ****Harvey**** I all ready know you Mr. Jester. You are the King of Pranks. You are the only one who can see me Mr. Jester and I am here to help you. I know there are some who doubt your ability, just as there are some who doubt my very existence. Together we can over come their foolish perceptions. There are few like me. I exist among the honored family of Puka's. We have been watching you shine Jester. You have achieved the riddle known secrets of the grand master clown. We have been waiting for the last bit of mind expansion to take place before one of us could contact you. You have come far, great jester. We are now able to assist in you're further enlightenment to the clowny ways.
**** Jester scans the frame of this odd creature now sitting beside him smiling quietly. Some kind of giant rabbit in a suit coat and mailmans hat. Impeccably dressed, but how did those huge ears fit through the door? A brilliant watch chain straddles a shocking red vest. Jester gazes down to a set of plump fury feet with three tapping toes on each. Jester leans in. ****Wicked Jester**** W....who did you say you were, H....Harvey. I caught most of what you said, but what about that part about helping me. Mack! Two more beers, one for me and one for my friend here.
**** Mack pours two glasses of bewilderment, plops one in front of Jester and searches for whom the other glass is meant for. ****Wicked Jester**** Put it down damnit! Right here for my friend here. Mack, this is Harvey. He hasn’t complained yet, so I presume he likes beer too.
**** Mack puts down the pounder of brew, snickering as if to go along with the joke and walks away with a knowing smile. Jester receives a courteous thank you from Harvey with his reassurance that he does indeed like beer. The two pat each others back as they engage in a long conversation involving primarily small talk. Jester senses comfort in the presence of this new found friend. Talking on and on as if they were brothers in this grand scheme of time and dimension. ****Wicked Jester**** Come on Harvey, let's get out of here. Take the keys, you can drive.
**** Harvey doesn’t catch the keys as they flop to the floor. Jester scoops them up and tells Harvey that he understands that the upholstery lining will bother his ears and guides Harvey to the passenger side of the Happy mobile, adjusting the seat tilt back with rabbit ear comfort in mind. The two race off laughing all the way, as they whip on to the long straight flat stretch that heads out of town. Jester eases on the throttle as the great Lincoln responds to the giddy-up. Harvey smiles with a great "woooooooo" as the road far ahead begins to wave. As the Lincoln approaches the ever increasing, undulating road surface, the distance seems to cut in half. The roller coaster ride of the shortening highway, splits in half and reforms to a diminishing width as the distance again decreases. Jester becomes aware that he, Harvey and the happy mobile have also gotten smaller. His head swirls with sensations like being sucked down a drain. The two empty into a vast microscopic universe that seems engaged in collapse. The happy mobile plummets to the ever diminishing center point that never quite arrives. Tinier and tinier, they watch as this ever shrinking world reveals the infinite depths that spark the imagination to no end as an all consuming blast of phosphorescent light fades to deliver our two wandering heroes to the long straight flat stretch that heads back into town. ****Wicked Jester**** I see. It all makes sense now. We'll go to the arena right now and bring the truth to every single one of those non-pranksters.
**** Harvey turns with a gigantic grin in recognition that Jester has indeed seen the light of infinite dominance over all time and space within the minute spectrum of his own existence. The two crash through the doors of the VIP entrance to the ExWA arena. Smashing back the security guard as they saunter forth to the superstar entrance ramp. The entrance ramp explodes into pyro engineered flames that spew wickedly upward with the thrust of jet engines.
**** The red Light illuminates the stadium the sound of the wind gust goes from speaker to speaker all the way around until the sound of a dark violin plays vigorously! then into a climax Double bass kicks in as Kill Your Mother and Rape Your Dog rages over the PA And the lights flicker furiously, on the big screen shows the inverted cross as it spins the face of Morbid Angel appears as he does on the platform! he walks down the ramp spitting at fans booing him! With a mighty heave, Jester sends Morbid to ill fated flight into the booing fans. The music dies with a loud scratch as Jester leaps to the ring, forgetting to clench hold of the top rope,
**** He falls back into the waiting arms of Harvey, who slings him through the middle ropes splaying forward to the middle of the ring. Harvey rolls in as the crowd stands agast at Jester's incredible mid-air reversal of direction. Jester raises to grab the mic from ring announcer Fred Elliot. With a microphone struggle, Jester flattens Elliot with a hands down victory over the electronic speaking device. ****Wicked Jester**** Nobody keeps the microphone from the ultimate clown. I am here to bring the whole bloody truth that no man can redefine. Soon, you will all become aware , who is the master of this clowns dimension.
**** Jester raves insults at the other competitors while leaning over to hear Harvey chanting down the list from a program brochure. He continues ranting and raving like a possessed crazy man. The staff stands dumbfounded in anxious wonderment as to who will put a stop to this mad man. On and on Jester raves moving down the entire list of wrestlers only to proceed on with management at the nodding approval of a smiling Harvey. Jester completes the list save one, when a strong hand grabs his shoulder and another rips away the microphone. ****Shane Powers**** That’s it Jester! You’re done! ****Wicked Jester**** You! You’re the one. Substituting myyy words. Well, I have a great big gooey ball of steamer for you Ronald Powers.
**** Morbid Angel wraps a peaceful sleep death grip around Jesters head as four security guards calm his flailing extremities. As Jester becomes more compliant, Shane jabs a finger into his chest. ****Shane Powers**** I have had it with you clown. You’ve got a screw loose. You are…getting some help. And I mean right now.
**** Morbid releases as security guards remove the limp teaser from the ring and carry him out to the beckoning ambulance. Fearful fans peer in to the arena curious whether it is safe to return to their seats. The ambulance departs with Harvey standing on the rear bumper as Shane with others return the arena back to some semblance of organization and carry on with the previously scheduled show.
[/center]
|
|
|
Post by Needles "the Snitch" on Jan 19, 2005 16:10:10 GMT
Dream or Memorex
[/color] **** Jester awakes to find himself strapped in a straight jacket, lying in the hospital bed of a private room filled with numerous pictures of ink blots lining the walls. The door opens and in walks a short, portley, well dress man with platinum white hair, rosey cheeks, puffing an allibaster pipe and followed by a nurse. ****Mr. Simms**** Awe Mr. Jester. You are avake. My name is Mr. Simms. I am doctor here at ze state mental hospital. Ve have had some problem vis your tossink and turnink. So ve felt zat you should be restraint for your own protection. I vill be performing a series of tests in a vile and I think zat it vould be best if you remain confined till I complete my analysis. Ve have already completed extensive testing on ze blood and have found large amounts of a very rare toxin has been pumping sru your arteries. In my professional opinion you must have been nuttier zan a polish fruit cake for most of ze day. Though ze toxin is not fatal, it is highly psychedelic. Ze effects should subside in ze near future. Ze toxin does carry one rather peculiar side effect zo. Soon after ze effects subside, you may experience a bout of uncontrollable stuttering. Not to worry zo, ve vill take very good care of you. But first zer is someone here who vould like to see you.
**** Shane walks in as Mr. Simms and nurse shuffle out. ****Shane Powers**** Jester, Jester. What are we going to do with you? The Doc told me about the blood test. It’s a poor fucking excuse. You made a total fucking idiot out of yourself right in front of thousands of fans. I understand that the drugs may not have been your fault, but Jester you’ve been walking on razor blades ever since you arrived at the ExWA. And don’t think for a second that all of the wrestlers and staff that you publicly dissed are going to take this sh1t lying down. Damn it man, this bologna stops here. If you or any other wrestler ever uses that ExWA arena microphone to tee off with Armageddon against the entire federation again. You’ll find yourself black balled, so help me you’ll never wrestle again…anywhere!
**** Jester wrinkles his brow as Shane walks away leaving the door open behind him. Jester peers down the long vacant hallway. A tuft of fur breaks the bleak edge of the doorway as Harvey strolls around and into the room. Harvey mutters that there is an unlocked window at the end of the hallway as he helps Jester free himself from the straight jacket. Relieved that his make up is still in place, Jester laces up his big clown shoes and steals away down the shadowy hallway. Jester jumps first, crushing the hood of the five year old Plymouth. He looks up to the third story window to see Harvey struggling to fit through it. Harvey lights onto the top of the Plymouth without so much as single pop dent. The two bound up to a nearby dumpster and hop over the wire link fence to freedom. Little time passes as the two jaunt the ten blocks back to the arena. There she sits, a gem of a ride, riddled with colored spots and all kinds of twirly things, the happy mobile awaits to once again sputter to life and begin turning those hypnotic swirling hubcaps as she smokes down the road. The two waste no time in exiting this city and find themselves traveling far out a dust laden road. Do do do do do do do do do do as Jester canters the old circus jingle, Harvey begins to play with the knobs. On, off, wipers, fan, heater, defrost, air conditioning then gets completely caught up in the electric seat controls, forward, back, raise, lower, forward, tilt, back…Jester crams her in neutral and pulls out the keys, rolling to a stop in the parking lot of Lucky Diamonds, restaurant, lounge and card room. ****Wicked Jester**** Everything is so strange since I met you Harv, but when in Rome. My head is spinning, but I feel lucky, let’s hop in and check this joint out.
**** Lucky Diamonds stands alone like a sore thumb attempt to duplicate the wildly successful Los Vegas desert strip. Even in the Diamonds hay day, no one mistook this shoddy recreation for anything more than the failed flounderings of a misguided dreamer. He had squandered every cent of his healthy inheritance to keep this worthless jewel alive. Six years later it was purchased by Katie Kat for a pittance of the original investment. Though Lucky Diamonds was fifteen miles from town, the truly heart throbbing Katie Kat was able to keep it alive. Her long sensuous legs alone had truckers making the time consuming detour, if only to reaffirm their road weary fantasies. Jester scans the long at the beautiful legs of the bent down Katie Kat as she serves two smiling truckers biscuits and gravy. Jester moves into the lounge and orders two beers from the confused bar tender who is afraid to say anything. Jester winks at Harvey and motions toward the card room at the back of the lounge. Harvey winks back and twirls his watch as if time were of some importance. The two make their way to the card room and scoot in to a couple of empty chairs across from each other. Jester pulls out a wad of cash and purchases a pile of chips before the salivating eyes of the other players. Jester tosses in a couple of low rent hands before coming up with that miracle of all hands, the once in a lifetime Royal Straight Flush. Jester bets up to the hilt, surprised that two other players and Harvey for the first time stay in. Tensions are high as Jester scans the other players and notices for the first time that other people are able to see Harvey and with no apparent shocked reaction. The players one by one lay down their good indeed hands to be trumped by Harvey’s four aces. Jester lays down his hand and watches as his Royal Straight Flush slowly drips away to a pair of twos right before his eyes. He dumbfoundedly looks back up at Harvey to see his ears melt away to reveal the grinning face of Needles. ****Wicked Jester**** Needles! How did you! What the!
**** Jester jumps back out of his chair and slams against the wall. Confused with the swirling room he stumbles out and makes his way for the front doors. Jester with world spinning lack of grace, he dives out the doors and sways back to his car. Jester shakes his head as his focus regains to see the tilted back empty passenger seat. What part of this was real thought jester as he peels off down the road toward town. Close to town the Happy Mobile sputters to a halt on the side of the road from lack of petrol. Jester grabs his empty gas can and begins the long walk toward the business section of town. Along the way he comes across an odd looking mail box painted with colored spots and a twirly thing on top. A sign on the mail box reads Snitcher. He gazes up at a withered old house with a large covered front porch. To Jester’s amazement there are two old folks rocking on the porch and waving him over. Jester approaches the front stairs toward a beckoning old man as he takes a last look behind him in wonder if Harvey is really gone.
[/center]
|
|
|
Post by Needles "the Snitch" on Jan 19, 2005 16:12:07 GMT
Needles Triumph
[/color] **** Needles started counting the winfall bestowed upon him by his way to high nemesis. He twitterpated in glory at the motherload outcome of his devious plan. For once in his life he had devised a scheme that had come out to his favor. Though he could never tell anyone at the ExWA of his unabashed turning of the tables on the big clown himself. The score was even and he basked in the exquisite putting of it. This was more money than he had ever seen at one time ever. Needles called the old security guard for escort as he flaunted his good fortune. He tipped Katie Kat generously as she purred and stroked under his smiling chin. Everyone watched Needles with envy as he returned their favor with rounds for the house. His cabby awaited for Needles cue as he strutted out like a king. With the grandest of service the cabby opened the rear door and gently issued his most worthiness within. With the care of a royal coachman, the cabby wheeled away from the waves of adamant onlookers. The cabby peeked up and graciously inquired “where to sir”<br>
****Needles**** The Airport me thinks. I hear Raysburg is nice this time of year. Take the scenic route if you please my good fellow. There is a C note in it for you.
**** The cabby smiled with a sharp “Yes Sir” as Needles relaxed in style. He thought back how far he had come remembering the old days growing up on the street. He had started out learning cheap cons from a cogity hood who had taken him in cold, hungry, lost and tearful. Jack was his name. He had felt sorry for Needles and gave him a home in the loft of his warehouse corner apartment that he traded for sweeping out the warehouse each day. Needles was a quick learner and soon took over the sweeping duties as Jack was often to drunk to maintain the load. Needles remembered beginning to talk to Jack as Jack pressed his adolescence for his name and where he was from. Needles was very young, but knew his name was Irving something… Sniker, Sneeker, Sneezky or something. Jack thought Irving was a stupid name so he decided he would call him Needles. As Needles grew, Jack taught him the ins and outs of petty larceny and cheap cons. Needles found that he liked the game though he was never very good at it. Needles stuck with Jack for many years and thought he had it made not having to go to school and all. He managed to stay out of trouble with the law by quick talking and running when necessary until he was in his mid teens and Jack failed to awaken one fateful day. Needles was soon put out of the warehouse and found his life drastically changed dealing with underworld low lifes, seedy characters and the long arms. Somehow he had scraped by with his inability to give up and his flagrant disregard for interactive kindness. Life was tough for Needles, all of it he thought. Nothing worked out for him. He had hardened his heart with callus. He had learned to never let the ribbings of others harm him. Needles knew that he was a strange little man in a world of beautiful people. He had long since given up trying to be like others. It just plain didn’t work for Needles. He thought way back before Jack, but there was little to remember. He had a mother, but she had left him for some reason, he knew not why. He also had a vague remembrance of a brother, yes Bob, they use to play together. He recalled that he very much loved his brother Bob, but still the memory brought him pain. Needles stirred to find himself looking up out the open door of the cab as the driver motioned “we’re here Sir”. Needles flipped him a C note and walked in to the airport and up to the counter. ****Needles**** Do you have a flight to Raysburg this evening?
**** The ticket agent told Needles that they had one short hop commuter flight within the hour and that he might be the only one onboard as the plane is scheduled in Raysburg for maintenance. Needles thought this was nice, the whole plane to himself as he paid for his ticket and found his way to the coffee shop. Needles removed his long hooded overcoat and dove in to a piece of blueberry pie.
[/center]
|
|
|
Post by Needles "the Snitch" on Jan 19, 2005 16:14:01 GMT
Fated Siblings
[/color] ****Old Man**** Hello young fellow, my name is Robert Snitcher and this over here is my wife Ruth. Won’t you sit and enjoy a cool glass of lemonade with us?
**** Jester walks up, takes the lemonade and sits on the porch rail. ****Ruth**** You can call me Ma young fella. I once had two boys that would be close to your age by now. Robert and I went through some very rough times early in our marriage and we split up for about three years. During that time my youngest Irving, he had such beautiful big eyes, got lost in New York and I was never able to find him again. The police said that he was probably taken by some underworld child slavers or something and finally gave up on the case. I went into a great depression and found myself destitute with my one year older son Robert jr. I was worried that I couldn’t take care of Robert jr. so I left him in a small town with a note that said I could no longer take care of him. I stayed around that town and watched to see that young Robert was taken in by someone who could take better care of him. After about a week I watched as a very fat lady with a twinkling smile walked out of the local police station with Robert. I felt so terrible losing both of my sons but I thought at least young Robert would be lucky enough to have a good home. Papa here found me about a year later and apologized for ever leaving me in the first place and we have been living with the grief of our two missing sons throughout our life. Young Robert would be about your age by now I guess. Would you like some more lemonade young fella er excuse me what was your name? ****Wicked Jester**** No thank you, My name is BBBBBBBBBBob…a…JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJester.
**** Jester thanked the Snitcher’s and walked off with the gas can that Robert sr. had filled for him. He thought about the sad story and about what a wonderful mother Ruth would have been if her life hadn’t taken such a bleak turn for those few years. He then wondered why he couldn’t keep himself from stuttering. Still there was something else, underlying in her story. Jester couldn’t quite place it. Something about his own childhood. The thoughts rolled through his mind as he started the big Lincoln and sped off. Jester knew that there were questions that needed to be answered and that he needed to talk to Issabelle, the fat lady at the carnival to put to rest some questions of his own upbringing. He eased in to town, filled his tank and proceeded to make inquiries as to the location of the traveling Carnival of Carnage. After hours of incessant stuttering he finally found that the Carnival was doing their two week tour in Raysburg. Jester drove to the airport, fumbled for his wallet and sunglasses out of the glove box and boarded a twin engine commuter plane for the one hour trip. Jester was surprised that the plane was completely empty except the two pilots and one small featured man in a hooded overcoat sitting up front by the window. The pilot rang out on the intercom explaining that this was a non scheduled hop to Raysburg for a routine maintenance stop and that seatbelts should be fastened during take-off. The plain taxied the runway as Jester noticed the hooded man turn his head back around to once again peer out the window. He had never seen a clown on an air plane thought Jester. The plane proceeded to take off without incident as Jester thought back about Robert sr. and Ruth Snitcher. He thought Snitcher…Snitcher…why is that name so familiar. The airplane gained altitude and finally leveled off as Jester watched the jutting crests of forested mountains go by. It had begun to rain quite heavily as the airplane began to reach for more altitude. The pilot rang in once again stating that they had a bit of a weather front, that they were climbing to get over it and seatbelts should be worn. He thought back as a child being raised by Issabelle the circus fat lady and how he hadn’t had much recollection of times before that. But he did have a mother he remembered and he did love her very much though she was stricken with grief over something happening to his brother…his brother, that’s right he had a brother. It was beginning to come back. Irving was his name, that’s right Irving. Jester was always just known as Bob growing up. Just Bob…Bob…Robert! That’s right I’m Robert Snit….Oh my god….Snitcher….Robert Snitcher, but that would mean that Robert sr. and Ruth Snitcher are my
CRACK!!!!!!!! **** Lightning impaled the left engine as the plane shuddered and tipped then slowly evened out once again. The pilot rang in that they had taken damage but that things were under control and to remain calm as Jester gazed out at the flailing engine. Once again the small featured hooded man peeked back as this time Jester caught the site of familiarity. He turned away as Jester unbuckled his seatbelt and walked up the isle with uncertainty. The man abruptly turned and yanked back his hood to reveal the bulging hypnotic eyes of Needles the Snitch. Jester lurched back in misbelief as Needles fumbled to remove his seatbelt. Needles sprang to his feet and began to paint his wandering eye on Jester. Jester reached forward grabbing Needles shoulders as he began to feel the effects of that all seeing eye. Needles drilled into the far reaches of Jester’s brain causing him to weaken in the knees. Jester couldn’t look away as his hands began to lose their grip on Needles’ shoulders. With the summoning of his clownly force it was all he could do to sliver his sunglasses from his pocket. The plane took an unexpected dip as Jester raised his sunglasses up above his nose. With a deep breath Jester began to regain awareness and was finally able to raise his mighty hand to the air when
CRACK!!!!!!!! **** The airplane Shuddered violently as part of the same wing sheared. Needles and Jester were flung to the side then crumpled back to the isle. Blood was spurting from Needles lacerated head as Jester crawled toward him finding his wallet opened wide to his photo ID with the name clearly inscribed …I r v i n g S n i t c h e r. Jester’s mind raced wildly as he put the whole picture together to realize that this insectful, nothing of a human being was in fact his own long lost, nearly forgotten about brother. Remorse welled up in Jester as he slowly reached down to caress the cheek of ****Wicked Jester**** Irving…Irving Snitcher…Its me… your brother Robert Snitcher. **** Needles strains, beaten and confused to look up at Jester as the plane begins to spiral out of control ****Needles**** …..Bob?
!!!!!!!!!!!CRASH!!!!!!!!!!! [/center]
|
|
|
Post by Needles "the Snitch" on Jan 19, 2005 16:15:44 GMT
**** The Rayburg Obituary
Somewhere in the jutting crests of forested mountains near Raysburg, lay the twisted remains of a short hop commuter plane strewn with the bodies of two pilots and two lonely brothers who finally found each other. Irving and Robert Snitcher aka; Needles “the Snitch” and The Wicked Jester.
The two will be verily missed by their parents Robert sr. and Ruth Snitcher And all of us here at the ExWA………You made us laugh boys.
Upon the opening of Wicked Jester’s Will. 10,000 dollars shall be donated to the Lazy Rope Tavern in care of Mack the Bartender….Something about a broke up pool table.
www.imomus.com/feldman.jpg [/img] img.photobucket.com/albums/v618/THE_Dark_Star/Wicked%20jester/7b5db907.jpg [/img] [/size][/color][/center]
|
|