Miscellaneous for the week of 11th Jan thru 18th J

[Sanderson]

Post your Miscellaneous roleplays here

[Vealmaster]

TEXT TEXT

Veal Master Awaits [/color]




A two lane road, tree lined, fringed by swampland....at the end of ths road a house circa 1923...clapboards with peeling paint, weed strewn yard...old farm machinery scattered about...A mist rolls in across the fallow fields....

A single light in a cracked window...5 a.m...Someone is about!!!

A figure shambles from the house, and, gravel crunching beneath blood stained boots, makes his way up the dirt driveway wrapped in oily blankets, pulled over his head...warding off the mist..The chill...

For half a mile the figure trudges...small tools attached to a worn leather belt create a warped bell like soung, muffled by the blankets....

Upon approaching the end of the gravel path the figure stops at a mailbox, hanging recklessly from a withered pole. He yanks open the latch.......nothing.......

The figure stops and lights a cigar........

"No contract" he mutters

He blows a stream of smoke....

"I will gut them for their inability to be punctual"

Tokes cigar again....

"They will flail as I snip tendons, making their limbs as useless as rags"

More smoke.....

"Raaaaags....."


.........scene fads

[Wicked Jester]

Have you seen this man?

[/color]


It has come to our attention that there is apparent fraud at hand in the ExWA federation. Due to numurous sightings and complaints of under handed rumor manipulations, members of the ExWA federation and staff have come to mistrust of their fellow competitors and friends. Upon further investigation, it appears that this man who claims to be Your Pal Needles has been deliberately contacting members of the ExWA and staff both privately and publicly with untrue statements claimed by Needles to be made by other competitors and staff all the while claiming this man has their interest at heart. There are a few signs that this man Needles has another little known habit that has come to our attention. Apparently Needles has his own private weak spot that can be his undoing and expose him for the letcher he is. We have it with reliable inside information that this Needles character likes to wear make-up. We here at the ExWA have hired a forensic scientist to investigate the clues and come up with a composite picture of what this man might look like both with and without make-up. If any of you have any information that could be helpful in regards to these criminal acts, please contact the proper authorities IMMEDIATELY.















Haven't you heard foolssss. Wicked Jester is the KING OF PRANKS![/color][/center]

[Randy orton" world champion"]

winter,shane, fire this stupied bastard named needles or give me him in a match! he fucking getting on my nerves! i will kick your ass needles!

[Wicked Jester]

Only Roleplays are supposed to be here sorry!

[JigSaw]

VALLEY OF THE DOLLS

We are looking through the lens of a camera at a store that has a large collection of dolls when suddenly the owner of the store walks up


Can I help you find something

Right now I am just looking thank you(the camera is handed off to another figure)

Hey mam is it ok if I set this camera up here in the store

Yes it is just make sure it is not in the way of the door or any exits or anything

Sure (the camera is set up and comes into view of Jig Saw and Myzaree and the store owner as well as the large collection of dolls

Scuse me mam are these the only dolls you have here

I am afraid so dear these are the only ones I have in stock what other kinds of dolls are you looking for I might be able to special order it for you

Hey Jig Saw come here(Jig Saw walks over toward Myzaree and she whispers something to him the two both laugh and Jig Saw strolls around the store a little while longer)

Jig Saw notices a male doll dressed in a black suit with long hair and he lifts it from the shelf and begins looking at it closely he then takes the doll in his hands and looks it over once or twice and pulls something from his pocket he then begins carving into the face of the doll with out any care in the world the store owner notices this and immediatley approaches him

Hey hey what are you doing to that doll you have to buy that now

Your dolls there is something wrong with them

Huh I dont understand these dolls are beautiful all except for the one you have damaged

(Jig Saw looks at hthe doll whose face he has carved up and back at the store clerk) That is where you are wrong these dolls are all ugly except for this one (he puts the disfigured doll in the face of the store owner) This doll is almost perfect

(Off out of view of the camera) Hey you have a point there Jig Saw these dolls are not pretty enough (a loud crash is heard as Myzaree slams a case full of dolls to the floor and then laughs in glee) Now they are beautiful

No not my precious dolls My dolls (the store owner begins to shriek at the chaos that is taking place in her store

Myzaree walks into site of the camera and she has a doll in her hand obviously one from the fallen case she is dancing around with the doll in her hand and she stops in her tracks right when she gets near Jig Saw she then reaches in her little black bag and pulls out a vile of red liquid and pours it on the broken face of the doll

Now that is a pretty doll aint Jig Saw

Yes it is dear

The store owner is on the phone speaking to someone unknown to us at this time but within a few seconds sirens are heard in the background and even sooner cops are stepping through the doors of the store

Whats wrong officer

Is there a problem officer (looking down at the cop who is no more than about 5'6

Yeah you two have destroyed this womans shop and in these parts that is Vandalism

No sir that is the mistake here we only helped her out we made the dolls pretty as you would say

(clueless look on his face) No you are going to have to come with me both of you

More cops come in and are trying to get Myzaree and Jig Saw in cuffs but Jig Saw looks on at the cops and reaches to remove his mask and as he does so the cops draw guns and Jig Saw begins to twitch and sasy something that can not be heard quite clear

Sir calm down and lower your arms and place them behind your back

"Time To Die"

Jig Saw rushes the first two cops catching them off guard and causing them to mis fire and hit he wall he lifts these two with no problem and throws them back through the front of the store and through the door causing them to hit the ground in shards of glass Myzaree has escaped her cuffs and attacks the other cop that had her and spits a red liquid in his face causing him to fall to the ground in agonizing screams while rubbing his eyes by this time the store is a mess and the owner has passed out and the cops are all laid out the only ones left standing are Jig Saw and Myzaree

Beauty Is Only Revealed When You Carve Away The Skin

Scene
Store Owner
Myzaree
Jig Saw
Officer Jones

[Needles "the Snitch"]

Infinite Equation

[/color]

****
A single proton clustered to a nucleus and orbited by electrons, generating the gravitational muscle to attract similar atoms to form the molecule that gathers with like molecules in the eventuality of becoming a spec. This spec multiplies with the masses of others to form the dust that is swept out the door of the Lazy Rope Tavern. The dust mingles with the air, through which can be seen, the pothole filled parking lot to the far north end of Whitley’s Pharmacy. Whitley’s, located six blocks past the railroad tracks that dissect the southeast corner of the metropolis well advertised for it’s latest addition of the ExWA arena, stands menacingly deserted on the wind swept outskirts as the quivering Out Of Business sign denotes it’s demise. The City had undergone hard times with the closing of the elastic band jock strap manufacturer and the overall public disinterest for eight track stereos that brought it’s electronic powerhouses to a standstill, wherein the cumulative effect placed tens of hundreds on the bricks. Yet the people remained hopeful for they knew their City carried the true luxury of location, lovingly nestled in this expansive, barren, wind swept and mineral free valley, it lay like a rare jewel buried miles beneath the Los Angeles county dump. A North American location, bordered by two great oceans whirling on the small blue green planet in near perpetual push pull defiance of centrifical force and gravity. The solar system of it all, engaging in its own winless battle against the forces of limitless galactic advantage. This galaxy, acting in poetic grace and in concert with potentially limitless other galaxies, all together bow with respect to their mother cauldron, infinity itself. She stretches outward beyond the encompassment of the most liberal of imaginations to finally come to rest in her ultimate completion as that of a spec within the greater scheme of the truly unlimited reality. Time itself begins to exhale as all reverses and the heavens once again expand. Every last liter is squeezed out as the picture returns to the swept dust mixed with oxygen now being sucked up by the pink lungs of our inconsequential hero Needles “the Snitch".



****Needles****
Hi ya Mack. Are ya just opening up? I noticed that your sign hasn’t been turned on yet. If yer open, I’ll have a pitcher of Miller draught. Needles enters the bar as Mack sweeps some more dust outthe door. Boy this place looks like a war zone. What happened to the pool table?

****Mack The Bartender****
Hi Needles, Yea I just opened up. Haven’t had time to catch the sign light or finish sweeping up yet and I’ll need a few minutes to get the taps going. That big Clown Wicked Jester chopped up the pool table in a fight with Reaper. He said he would cover the damage and the truth is that he is good for business. He does all those great Clown tricks for the customers.

****
Needles doesn’t say that he suspects Wicked Jester of being the one who has been running around frauding as him and sending messages to ExWA competitors and staff both publicly and privately that have gotten him in trouble with the ExWA. Needles doesn’t say that he has been on the lamb from a bunch of wrestlers and that he has devised a plan to get back at Jester.

****Needles****
I’m going to sit over in the booth Mack. I have some thinking to do. Bring the pitcher over when it’s ready.

****
Mack brings the pitcher to Needles and tells him that this one is on the house. Needles thanks him as Mack walks over, turns on the sign light and proceeds to sweeping up the bar. Needles thinks deeply about the fun he has had with his short time in the ExWA. His nostrils begin to flair as he considers how it was now all spoiled by some clown pulling a prank and pretending to be him. Needles further ponders the evidence that points to the alleged King of Pranks, Wicked Jester. Needles envisions how he will have the final last laugh. The door swings open and in walks two sexy young ladies dressed in short shorts, tube tops, gaudy jewelry and beehive hair do’s, some kind of valley girl wannabe’s. They swaggle over to Needles.

****Valley Girl****
Hey sexy. Damn you’re cute. We’re over here. Why are you looking over there?

****
Needles rolls his eyes from side to side to appear as though he is looking at them.

****Valley Girl****
Wow, I have never had a man look at me like that. You’re something else baby. You want to party with us?

****
Needles smiles a bit embarrassed and informs the two little trouser trouts that he is busy planning a surprise for a friend. The two shrug as if to say ‘you’re loss baby’ and head down to the other end of the bar to play pool on the back table. Mack opens the door to sweep out the last of the dust as the Happy Mobile of Wicked Jester pulls up in front.

[/center]

[Needles "the Snitch"]

Harvey

[/color]

****Wicked Jester****
Hi ya Mack. Are ya just opening up? Hey, sorry about last week when I accepted the challenge to a drinking match with Respawn. I didn’t know he couldn’t hold his liquor that bad.

****Mack The Bartender****
Oh, that’s alright. After all, we are in the business of selling booze here. I have already gotten the juke box fixed and I telegrammed the bill to Respawn. We’ve been open for about an hour. I’m just doin a bit of clean up, come on in and I’ll fix ya up.

****
Mack holds wide the door as Jester enters and makes his way to his usual stool at the bar.

****Wicked Jester****
As far as the pool table Mack, I’ll put ya in my will. Make it a pint of Lucky draught Mack. I’m trying to stay sober so I can find this little shrimp snitch fellow that has been dogging the ExWA and fucking with every body with some weird kind of hypnosis or something. What do you mean you've never heard of him, Mack? Most folks I talk to are afraid of him for some reason. Well, he's this wannabe skinny little fuck who has been running around sending messages to ExWA competitors and staff both publicly and privately that has gotten me in trouble with the ExWA. With his strange hypnotic powers he thinks he's some kind of this, that and a bag of potato chips. If I believed this sh!t, I would probably be shaking in my clown shoes right now and all worried that he might be listening to us talking right now. I never saw him fight, but all of these wanna-be's have no chance against a real clown. It is a completely different style than any wrestler has ever dealt with. It is the overwhelming art of the PRANK! And if you ask anybody who is the King of Pranks, I guarantee you, that’s me.

****
Jester flips a coin into the air. Mack’s eyes momentarily stray and return to the vase of tulips now on the bar before him. Jester catches and pockets the coin and peeks up at the wowed bartender.

****Mack The Bartender****
How did you do that? Damn, that was fast.

****Wicked Jester****
I just picked those outside Morbid Angel’s funeral parlor. Give em a good home.

****Mack The Bartender****
Hey Jester, can ya give me a hand bringin down a couple of kegs in the back room?

****
Jester follows along sticking his tongue out and ogling the two trouser trouts at the far end of the bar as he dips in to the back room. An ominous skinny figure emerges from a booth directly across from Jester’s fast flattening beverage. Needles glides the room, slithering his hand in to the inside pocket of his floor length cape and looming over the still warm stool that just recently supported the King. A capsule is broken over the frothy beverage as Needles slips out the door in to the blinding sunshine of the early day. Mack thanks Jester for the help as he plops his big clown feet in a bee line straight for the trouser trouts. With his usual, Hey baby, wanna clown around, he is responded to with an unusual, no thanks I prefer the big eyed skinny types like the guy that just left. Jester looks around to no avail and walks back to his seat. He pauses, shakes his head and knocks back the entire pounder of liquid gold brew. Mack files back and pushes another brew in front of the melancholy clown. The two, bob their heads to the gag me with a spoon, valley girl type tune that one of the chicks just played on the newly stocked juke box.

****Mack The Bartender****
I gotta talk to Carl about the kind of music he puts in that damn thing.

****
Jester considered the extensive time he had been training to be assured of his earth shattering launch into the ExWA. It was early in the game and he knew that the weasels would quickly be ferreted out. He began to bask in the sureness that he would leap like hurdles over the unwary and unworthy newcomers. But this Needles guy… was a little hard to read. Could it be that Jester, so early on might draw a match with the one customer that could possibly have a chance? Could it be that this illusion of a man really had hypnotic powers over him? Could it be that this is the one, freak of nature, whom truly can’t take a joke?

****Wicked Jester****
NAAAAAAAAAA!

****
Jester pats his own back and looks toward the clock on the wall. The numbers seem to drip as he squints to make out the time of 10:05. A rush of anxiety comes over him as he turns to realize the wallpaper has changed to a red and white striped circus tent pattern. He looks slowly at his hands pulsating with blood as waves of gentle static roll up his arms, then down into his belly. Jester churns his head to engage eye contact with the odd creature floating in the sky next to him.



****Odd Creature****
Hello, my name is Harvey.
[/center]

[Needles "the Snitch"]

Tripping The Clown

[/color]

****Harvey****
I all ready know you Mr. Jester. You are the King of Pranks. You are the only one who can see me Mr. Jester and I am here to help you. I know there are some who doubt your ability, just as there are some who doubt my very existence. Together we can over come their foolish perceptions. There are few like me. I exist among the honored family of Puka's. We have been watching you shine Jester. You have achieved the riddle known secrets of the grand master clown. We have been waiting for the last bit of mind expansion to take place before one of us could contact you. You have come far, great jester. We are now able to assist in you're further enlightenment to the clowny ways.

****
Jester scans the frame of this odd creature now sitting beside him smiling quietly. Some kind of giant rabbit in a suit coat and mailmans hat. Impeccably dressed, but how did those huge ears fit through the door? A brilliant watch chain straddles a shocking red vest. Jester gazes down to a set of plump fury feet with three tapping toes on each. Jester leans in.

****Wicked Jester****
W....who did you say you were, H....Harvey. I caught most of what you said, but what about that part about helping me. Mack! Two more beers, one for me and one for my friend here.

****
Mack pours two glasses of bewilderment, plops one in front of Jester and searches for whom the other glass is meant for.

****Wicked Jester****
Put it down damnit! Right here for my friend here. Mack, this is Harvey. He hasn’t complained yet, so I presume he likes beer too.

****
Mack puts down the pounder of brew, snickering as if to go along with the joke and walks away with a knowing smile. Jester receives a courteous thank you from Harvey with his reassurance that he does indeed like beer. The two pat each others back as they engage in a long conversation involving primarily small talk. Jester senses comfort in the presence of this new found friend. Talking on and on as if they were brothers in this grand scheme of time and dimension.

****Wicked Jester****
Come on Harvey, let's get out of here. Take the keys, you can drive.

****
Harvey doesn’t catch the keys as they flop to the floor. Jester scoops them up and tells Harvey that he understands that the upholstery lining will bother his ears and guides Harvey to the passenger side of the Happy mobile, adjusting the seat tilt back with rabbit ear comfort in mind. The two race off laughing all the way, as they whip on to the long straight flat stretch that heads out of town. Jester eases on the throttle as the great Lincoln responds to the giddy-up. Harvey smiles with a great "woooooooo" as the road far ahead begins to wave. As the Lincoln approaches the ever increasing, undulating road surface, the distance seems to cut in half. The roller coaster ride of the shortening highway, splits in half and reforms to a diminishing width as the distance again decreases. Jester becomes aware that he, Harvey and the happy mobile have also gotten smaller. His head swirls with sensations like being sucked down a drain. The two empty into a vast microscopic universe that seems engaged in collapse. The happy mobile plummets to the ever diminishing center point that never quite arrives. Tinier and tinier, they watch as this ever shrinking world reveals the infinite depths that spark the imagination to no end as an all consuming blast of phosphorescent light fades to deliver our two wandering heroes to the long straight flat stretch that heads back into town.

****Wicked Jester****
I see. It all makes sense now. We'll go to the arena right now and bring the truth to every single one of those non-pranksters.

****
Harvey turns with a gigantic grin in recognition that Jester has indeed seen the light of infinite dominance over all time and space within the minute spectrum of his own existence. The two crash through the doors of the VIP entrance to the ExWA arena. Smashing back the security guard as they saunter forth to the superstar entrance ramp. The entrance ramp explodes into pyro engineered flames that spew wickedly upward with the thrust of jet engines.



****
The red Light illuminates the stadium the sound of the wind gust goes from speaker to speaker all the way around until the sound of a dark violin plays vigorously! then into a climax Double bass kicks in as Kill Your Mother and Rape Your Dog rages over the PA And the lights flicker furiously, on the big screen shows the inverted cross as it spins the face of Morbid Angel appears as he does on the platform! he walks down the ramp spitting at fans booing him! With a mighty heave, Jester sends Morbid to ill fated flight into the booing fans. The music dies with a loud scratch as Jester leaps to the ring, forgetting to clench hold of the top rope,



****
He falls back into the waiting arms of Harvey, who slings him through the middle ropes splaying forward to the middle of the ring. Harvey rolls in as the crowd stands agast at Jester's incredible mid-air reversal of direction. Jester raises to grab the mic from ring announcer Fred Elliot. With a microphone struggle, Jester flattens Elliot with a hands down victory over the electronic speaking device.

****Wicked Jester****
Nobody keeps the microphone from the ultimate clown. I am here to bring the whole bloody truth that no man can redefine. Soon, you will all become aware , who is the master of this clowns dimension.

****
Jester raves insults at the other competitors while leaning over to hear Harvey chanting down the list from a program brochure. He continues ranting and raving like a possessed crazy man. The staff stands dumbfounded in anxious wonderment as to who will put a stop to this mad man. On and on Jester raves moving down the entire list of wrestlers only to proceed on with management at the nodding approval of a smiling Harvey. Jester completes the list save one, when a strong hand grabs his shoulder and another rips away the microphone.

****Shane Powers****
That’s it Jester! You’re done!

****Wicked Jester****
You! You’re the one. Substituting myyy words. Well, I have a great big gooey ball of steamer for you Ronald Powers.

****
Morbid Angel wraps a peaceful sleep death grip around Jesters head as four security guards calm his flailing extremities. As Jester becomes more compliant, Shane jabs a finger into his chest.

****Shane Powers****
I have had it with you clown. You’ve got a screw loose. You are…getting some help. And I mean right now.

****
Morbid releases as security guards remove the limp teaser from the ring and carry him out to the beckoning ambulance. Fearful fans peer in to the arena curious whether it is safe to return to their seats. The ambulance departs with Harvey standing on the rear bumper as Shane with others return the arena back to some semblance of organization and carry on with the previously scheduled show.

[/center]

[Needles "the Snitch"]

Dream or Memorex

[/color]

****
Jester awakes to find himself strapped in a straight jacket, lying in the hospital bed of a private room filled with numerous pictures of ink blots lining the walls. The door opens and in walks a short, portley, well dress man with platinum white hair, rosey cheeks, puffing an allibaster pipe and followed by a nurse.

****Mr. Simms****
Awe Mr. Jester. You are avake. My name is Mr. Simms. I am doctor here at ze state mental hospital. Ve have had some problem vis your tossink and turnink. So ve felt zat you should be restraint for your own protection. I vill be performing a series of tests in a vile and I think zat it vould be best if you remain confined till I complete my analysis. Ve have already completed extensive testing on ze blood and have found large amounts of a very rare toxin has been pumping sru your arteries. In my professional opinion you must have been nuttier zan a polish fruit cake for most of ze day. Though ze toxin is not fatal, it is highly psychedelic. Ze effects should subside in ze near future. Ze toxin does carry one rather peculiar side effect zo. Soon after ze effects subside, you may experience a bout of uncontrollable stuttering. Not to worry zo, ve vill take very good care of you. But first zer is someone here who vould like to see you.

****
Shane walks in as Mr. Simms and nurse shuffle out.

****Shane Powers****
Jester, Jester. What are we going to do with you? The Doc told me about the blood test. It’s a poor fucking excuse. You made a total fucking idiot out of yourself right in front of thousands of fans. I understand that the drugs may not have been your fault, but Jester you’ve been walking on razor blades ever since you arrived at the ExWA. And don’t think for a second that all of the wrestlers and staff that you publicly dissed are going to take this sh1t lying down. Damn it man, this bologna stops here. If you or any other wrestler ever uses that ExWA arena microphone to tee off with Armageddon against the entire federation again. You’ll find yourself black balled, so help me you’ll never wrestle again…anywhere!

****
Jester wrinkles his brow as Shane walks away leaving the door open behind him. Jester peers down the long vacant hallway. A tuft of fur breaks the bleak edge of the doorway as Harvey strolls around and into the room. Harvey mutters that there is an unlocked window at the end of the hallway as he helps Jester free himself from the straight jacket. Relieved that his make up is still in place, Jester laces up his big clown shoes and steals away down the shadowy hallway. Jester jumps first, crushing the hood of the five year old Plymouth. He looks up to the third story window to see Harvey struggling to fit through it. Harvey lights onto the top of the Plymouth without so much as single pop dent. The two bound up to a nearby dumpster and hop over the wire link fence to freedom. Little time passes as the two jaunt the ten blocks back to the arena. There she sits, a gem of a ride, riddled with colored spots and all kinds of twirly things, the happy mobile awaits to once again sputter to life and begin turning those hypnotic swirling hubcaps as she smokes down the road. The two waste no time in exiting this city and find themselves traveling far out a dust laden road. Do do do do do do do do do do as Jester canters the old circus jingle, Harvey begins to play with the knobs. On, off, wipers, fan, heater, defrost, air conditioning then gets completely caught up in the electric seat controls, forward, back, raise, lower, forward, tilt, back…Jester crams her in neutral and pulls out the keys, rolling to a stop in the parking lot of Lucky Diamonds, restaurant, lounge and card room.

****Wicked Jester****
Everything is so strange since I met you Harv, but when in Rome. My head is spinning, but I feel lucky, let’s hop in and check this joint out.

****
Lucky Diamonds stands alone like a sore thumb attempt to duplicate the wildly successful Los Vegas desert strip. Even in the Diamonds hay day, no one mistook this shoddy recreation for anything more than the failed flounderings of a misguided dreamer. He had squandered every cent of his healthy inheritance to keep this worthless jewel alive. Six years later it was purchased by Katie Kat for a pittance of the original investment. Though Lucky Diamonds was fifteen miles from town, the truly heart throbbing Katie Kat was able to keep it alive. Her long sensuous legs alone had truckers making the time consuming detour, if only to reaffirm their road weary fantasies. Jester scans the long at the beautiful legs of the bent down Katie Kat as she serves two smiling truckers biscuits and gravy. Jester moves into the lounge and orders two beers from the confused bar tender who is afraid to say anything. Jester winks at Harvey and motions toward the card room at the back of the lounge. Harvey winks back and twirls his watch as if time were of some importance. The two make their way to the card room and scoot in to a couple of empty chairs across from each other. Jester pulls out a wad of cash and purchases a pile of chips before the salivating eyes of the other players. Jester tosses in a couple of low rent hands before coming up with that miracle of all hands, the once in a lifetime Royal Straight Flush. Jester bets up to the hilt, surprised that two other players and Harvey for the first time stay in. Tensions are high as Jester scans the other players and notices for the first time that other people are able to see Harvey and with no apparent shocked reaction. The players one by one lay down their good indeed hands to be trumped by Harvey’s four aces. Jester lays down his hand and watches as his Royal Straight Flush slowly drips away to a pair of twos right before his eyes. He dumbfoundedly looks back up at Harvey to see his ears melt away to reveal the grinning face of Needles.

****Wicked Jester****
Needles! How did you! What the!

****
Jester jumps back out of his chair and slams against the wall. Confused with the swirling room he stumbles out and makes his way for the front doors. Jester with world spinning lack of grace, he dives out the doors and sways back to his car. Jester shakes his head as his focus regains to see the tilted back empty passenger seat. What part of this was real thought jester as he peels off down the road toward town. Close to town the Happy Mobile sputters to a halt on the side of the road from lack of petrol. Jester grabs his empty gas can and begins the long walk toward the business section of town. Along the way he comes across an odd looking mail box painted with colored spots and a twirly thing on top. A sign on the mail box reads Snitcher. He gazes up at a withered old house with a large covered front porch. To Jester’s amazement there are two old folks rocking on the porch and waving him over. Jester approaches the front stairs toward a beckoning old man as he takes a last look behind him in wonder if Harvey is really gone.

[/center]

[Needles "the Snitch"]

Needles Triumph

[/color]

****
Needles started counting the winfall bestowed upon him by his way to high nemesis. He twitterpated in glory at the motherload outcome of his devious plan. For once in his life he had devised a scheme that had come out to his favor. Though he could never tell anyone at the ExWA of his unabashed turning of the tables on the big clown himself. The score was even and he basked in the exquisite putting of it. This was more money than he had ever seen at one time ever. Needles called the old security guard for escort as he flaunted his good fortune. He tipped Katie Kat generously as she purred and stroked under his smiling chin. Everyone watched Needles with envy as he returned their favor with rounds for the house. His cabby awaited for Needles cue as he strutted out like a king. With the grandest of service the cabby opened the rear door and gently issued his most worthiness within. With the care of a royal coachman, the cabby wheeled away from the waves of adamant onlookers. The cabby peeked up and graciously inquired “where to sir”<br>


****Needles****
The Airport me thinks. I hear Raysburg is nice this time of year. Take the scenic route if you please my good fellow. There is a C note in it for you.


****
The cabby smiled with a sharp “Yes Sir” as Needles relaxed in style. He thought back how far he had come remembering the old days growing up on the street. He had started out learning cheap cons from a cogity hood who had taken him in cold, hungry, lost and tearful. Jack was his name. He had felt sorry for Needles and gave him a home in the loft of his warehouse corner apartment that he traded for sweeping out the warehouse each day. Needles was a quick learner and soon took over the sweeping duties as Jack was often to drunk to maintain the load. Needles remembered beginning to talk to Jack as Jack pressed his adolescence for his name and where he was from. Needles was very young, but knew his name was Irving something… Sniker, Sneeker, Sneezky or something. Jack thought Irving was a stupid name so he decided he would call him Needles. As Needles grew, Jack taught him the ins and outs of petty larceny and cheap cons. Needles found that he liked the game though he was never very good at it. Needles stuck with Jack for many years and thought he had it made not having to go to school and all. He managed to stay out of trouble with the law by quick talking and running when necessary until he was in his mid teens and Jack failed to awaken one fateful day. Needles was soon put out of the warehouse and found his life drastically changed dealing with underworld low lifes, seedy characters and the long arms. Somehow he had scraped by with his inability to give up and his flagrant disregard for interactive kindness. Life was tough for Needles, all of it he thought. Nothing worked out for him. He had hardened his heart with callus. He had learned to never let the ribbings of others harm him. Needles knew that he was a strange little man in a world of beautiful people. He had long since given up trying to be like others. It just plain didn’t work for Needles. He thought way back before Jack, but there was little to remember. He had a mother, but she had left him for some reason, he knew not why. He also had a vague remembrance of a brother, yes Bob, they use to play together. He recalled that he very much loved his brother Bob, but still the memory brought him pain. Needles stirred to find himself looking up out the open door of the cab as the driver motioned “we’re here Sir”. Needles flipped him a C note and walked in to the airport and up to the counter.

****Needles****
Do you have a flight to Raysburg this evening?


****
The ticket agent told Needles that they had one short hop commuter flight within the hour and that he might be the only one onboard as the plane is scheduled in Raysburg for maintenance. Needles thought this was nice, the whole plane to himself as he paid for his ticket and found his way to the coffee shop. Needles removed his long hooded overcoat and dove in to a piece of blueberry pie.

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[Needles "the Snitch"]

Fated Siblings

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****Old Man****
Hello young fellow, my name is Robert Snitcher and this over here is my wife Ruth. Won’t you sit and enjoy a cool glass of lemonade with us?

****
Jester walks up, takes the lemonade and sits on the porch rail.

****Ruth****
You can call me Ma young fella. I once had two boys that would be close to your age by now. Robert and I went through some very rough times early in our marriage and we split up for about three years. During that time my youngest Irving, he had such beautiful big eyes, got lost in New York and I was never able to find him again. The police said that he was probably taken by some underworld child slavers or something and finally gave up on the case. I went into a great depression and found myself destitute with my one year older son Robert jr. I was worried that I couldn’t take care of Robert jr. so I left him in a small town with a note that said I could no longer take care of him. I stayed around that town and watched to see that young Robert was taken in by someone who could take better care of him. After about a week I watched as a very fat lady with a twinkling smile walked out of the local police station with Robert. I felt so terrible losing both of my sons but I thought at least young Robert would be lucky enough to have a good home. Papa here found me about a year later and apologized for ever leaving me in the first place and we have been living with the grief of our two missing sons throughout our life. Young Robert would be about your age by now I guess. Would you like some more lemonade young fella er excuse me what was your name?

****Wicked Jester****
No thank you, My name is BBBBBBBBBBob…a…JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJester.

****
Jester thanked the Snitcher’s and walked off with the gas can that Robert sr. had filled for him. He thought about the sad story and about what a wonderful mother Ruth would have been if her life hadn’t taken such a bleak turn for those few years. He then wondered why he couldn’t keep himself from stuttering. Still there was something else, underlying in her story. Jester couldn’t quite place it. Something about his own childhood. The thoughts rolled through his mind as he started the big Lincoln and sped off. Jester knew that there were questions that needed to be answered and that he needed to talk to Issabelle, the fat lady at the carnival to put to rest some questions of his own upbringing. He eased in to town, filled his tank and proceeded to make inquiries as to the location of the traveling Carnival of Carnage. After hours of incessant stuttering he finally found that the Carnival was doing their two week tour in Raysburg. Jester drove to the airport, fumbled for his wallet and sunglasses out of the glove box and boarded a twin engine commuter plane for the one hour trip. Jester was surprised that the plane was completely empty except the two pilots and one small featured man in a hooded overcoat sitting up front by the window. The pilot rang out on the intercom explaining that this was a non scheduled hop to Raysburg for a routine maintenance stop and that seatbelts should be fastened during take-off. The plain taxied the runway as Jester noticed the hooded man turn his head back around to once again peer out the window. He had never seen a clown on an air plane thought Jester. The plane proceeded to take off without incident as Jester thought back about Robert sr. and Ruth Snitcher. He thought Snitcher…Snitcher…why is that name so familiar. The airplane gained altitude and finally leveled off as Jester watched the jutting crests of forested mountains go by. It had begun to rain quite heavily as the airplane began to reach for more altitude. The pilot rang in once again stating that they had a bit of a weather front, that they were climbing to get over it and seatbelts should be worn. He thought back as a child being raised by Issabelle the circus fat lady and how he hadn’t had much recollection of times before that. But he did have a mother he remembered and he did love her very much though she was stricken with grief over something happening to his brother…his brother, that’s right he had a brother. It was beginning to come back. Irving was his name, that’s right Irving. Jester was always just known as Bob growing up. Just Bob…Bob…Robert! That’s right I’m Robert Snit….Oh my god….Snitcher….Robert Snitcher, but that would mean that Robert sr. and Ruth Snitcher are my


CRACK!!!!!!!!

****
Lightning impaled the left engine as the plane shuddered and tipped then slowly evened out once again. The pilot rang in that they had taken damage but that things were under control and to remain calm as Jester gazed out at the flailing engine. Once again the small featured hooded man peeked back as this time Jester caught the site of familiarity. He turned away as Jester unbuckled his seatbelt and walked up the isle with uncertainty. The man abruptly turned and yanked back his hood to reveal the bulging hypnotic eyes of Needles the Snitch. Jester lurched back in misbelief as Needles fumbled to remove his seatbelt. Needles sprang to his feet and began to paint his wandering eye on Jester. Jester reached forward grabbing Needles shoulders as he began to feel the effects of that all seeing eye. Needles drilled into the far reaches of Jester’s brain causing him to weaken in the knees. Jester couldn’t look away as his hands began to lose their grip on Needles’ shoulders. With the summoning of his clownly force it was all he could do to sliver his sunglasses from his pocket. The plane took an unexpected dip as Jester raised his sunglasses up above his nose. With a deep breath Jester began to regain awareness and was finally able to raise his mighty hand to the air when


CRACK!!!!!!!!

****
The airplane Shuddered violently as part of the same wing sheared. Needles and Jester were flung to the side then crumpled back to the isle. Blood was spurting from Needles lacerated head as Jester crawled toward him finding his wallet opened wide to his photo ID with the name clearly inscribed …I r v i n g S n i t c h e r. Jester’s mind raced wildly as he put the whole picture together to realize that this insectful, nothing of a human being was in fact his own long lost, nearly forgotten about brother. Remorse welled up in Jester as he slowly reached down to caress the cheek of

****Wicked Jester****
Irving…Irving Snitcher…Its me… your brother Robert Snitcher.

****
Needles strains, beaten and confused to look up at Jester as the plane begins to spiral out of control

****Needles****
…..Bob?

!!!!!!!!!!!CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!

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[Needles "the Snitch"]

****
The Raysburg Obituary

Somewhere in the jutting crests of forested mountains near Raysburg, lay the twisted remains of a short hop commuter plane strewn with the bodies of two pilots and two lonely brothers who finally found each other. Irving and Robert Snitcher aka; Needles “the Snitch” and The Wicked Jester.

The two will be verily missed by their parents Robert sr. and Ruth Snitcher And all of us here at the ExWA………You made us laugh boys.

Upon the opening of Wicked Jester’s Will. 10,000 dollars shall be donated to the Lazy Rope Tavern in care of Mack the Bartender….Something about a broke up pool table.

www.imomus.com/feldman.jpg

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[Rusty]

Rusty waulsk rink to the down. Rusty gets in the ring and shots

“ I is beter than ypu. Ypu suck.”<br>
Rusty leave ringkand walks home.

[ricflair]

you need to post a bio before you can rp and remember to check your spelling.