Post by Lance Corporal Jones on Feb 22, 2005 20:51:49 GMT
Today on ‘Cole’s Corner’<br>‘Needles’ the man behind the legend
### City News secretary ###
Yes Mr. Needles, they are set up and ready for you just down the hall in studio B.
Needles wanders down the expansive hallway passing a multitude of corporate types and technicians scurrying about with notebooks and recording equipment. He passes several large doors with a light above each and a sign below reading “In Session”. Needles walks over to a large window with a small sign reading “Sound Proof” and peers in to witness several men connecting cables to big cameras on tripods aimed at a smartly dressed Norris Cole sitting behind an expensive looking desk while shuffling through papers. Needles proceeds to the door of studio B, looking carefully to see that the light is off so as to not accidentally walk into a live session. Norris Cole looks up and smiles as Needles steps nervously through the door.
### Norris Cole ###
Well, Mr. Needles you are right on time. The crew has a few more adjustments to make before we will be ready to record, so have a seat over here and I’ll fill you in on the basics before we begin.
Needles carefully steps over recording cables then up to the white carpeted stage where Norris is pulling back the extra patent leather studio chair and motioning Needles to take his place. Needles sits down deep into the plush chair as Norris frowns and motions Needles to stand back up. With a gesture to the crew, a balding technician scrambles forward to adjust the seat up about four inches then makes his way off the stage as Needles is once again motioned to sit.
### Norris Cole ###
That’s better. So Mr. Needles, how do you feel today.
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
Ok, I guess. I’m a little bit nervous. I think it’s because I haven’t eaten anything yet.
### Norris Cole ###
Hey Ray, get me one of those bratwurst sandwiches from my briefcase over there. This is a recorded interview Needles so we have plenty of time. Do you like Bratwurst?
The bald technician flips open the briefcase lid and grabs a sandwich rolled up in wax paper, then settles it neatly before Needles with a napkin.
### Ray ###
Coffee, Mr. Needles?
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
Oh yes, thank you and bratwurst is my favorite of all.
### Norris Cole ###
Great Mr. Needles, you enjoy that sandwich and I’ll give you the basic rundown of the format. First off Mr. Needles I should remind you that this is a recorded session and thereby we can cut out any part where you get nervous or say something that you didn’t intend, so really Mr. Needles there is no reason at all to worry. Just relax and be yourself. I have a list here of questions to ask you but I find it is best if I don’t reveal the questions prior to the interview, that way it promotes more spontaneity and makes for a better interview. You have some mustered on your chin there Mr. Needles, anyway it is all quite simple and I will help you through it as need be. Ok Mr. Needles, are you about ready to begin.
Needles wipes off the mustered as Ray holds up a mirror, then quickly straightens the desk and departs the stage.
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
I guess so.
The main camera lens zooms forward, the little red light comes on as Norris Cole straightens his tie, shuffles his papers, then arranges a perfect smile and begins to speak.
### Norris Cole ###
Welcome to this week’s edition of Cole’s Corner. I’m Norris Cole and this week I have the great pleasure of interviewing a top wrestler of the ExWA extreme zone. In just the last several weeks this man has literally escaped from the ashes of an ominous plane crash to be the only survivor but thereafter had the incredible fortitude to challenge and win the highly coveted prize of Deathmatch champion for the ExWA extreme zone title. The story doesn’t stop there folks, apparently ExWA management have been so impressed by his administrative prowess that they have hired this man under contract as their new Assistant General Manager. This promises to be an incredible interview with a man that truly has an incredible story and with that I am proud to welcome here for the first time at Coles Corner, the man of the hour Mr. Needles.
The camera lens zooms back to reveal both Norris and Needles as Needles fidgets in his chair gazing back and forth between the camera and Norris Cole.
### Norris Cole ###
So Mr. Needles, where to begin. I read about you’re amazing escape from that plane crash. Exactly how high up in that tree did your parachute leave you?
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
Oh about 250 feet or so.
### Norris Cole ###
I didn’t know that fir trees grew that tall.
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
This was a special hybrid fir.
### Norris Cole ###
I see, so I understand that as the plane was first going down, the trained pilots went into shock and that you took over the controls to bring the plane out of a death spiral.
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
That’s right Norris, little did I know at the time that the plane would again be hit by lightening shearing off a large portion of the wing.
### Norris Cole ###
That’s amazing Mr. Needles. So just how is it that you happened to be the only one to escape from the plane with a parachute?
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
Well, as I told the reporter in the hospital, my brother Wicked Jester was too frozen up to put on a parachute, so I put one on and attempted to grab a hold of him on the way out the door but just at the last moment his fear got the best of him and he jerked aside causing me to miss him as I floated away from the doomed plane.
### Norris Cole ###
Oooo, my condolences Mr. Needles on the unfortunate loss of your sibling. Moving right along, tell me Mr. Needles, what inspired you to get back to wrestling so soon let alone go straight for the toughest prize of the ExWA, the Deathmatch Championship.
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
Well Norris, I have never been one to rest on my laurels for very long and I knew that if I was going to make my comeback that it had better be a good one. Besides Norris I kind of felt that I owed it to my long lost brother sort of to carry on the family name kind of.
### Norris Cole ###
It certainly shows that blood is thicker than water with you Mr. Needles. But what about that match, I mean you had to take on the strongest man in the game G-Dawg. Weren’t you scared?
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
Well, that is a consideration for most wrestlers but I have long since mastered my emotions when it comes to fear. Like I was telling one of my pupils Bruce Lee when he first arrived at my dojo and asked me to teach him karate. Young Bruce I said, the first thing you have to learn is that you Got’s to have Faith and everything after that is merely incidental.
### Norris Cole ###
So faith is the key?
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
Well, that and of course experience but I didn’t want to give young Bruce too much to bite off on his first day.
### Norris Cole ###
Are you saying that you taught Bruce Lee the fundamentals of karate?
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
That’s correct Norris, when young Bruce first came to me he was wearing baggy pants and only spoke mandarin Chinese.
### Norris Cole ###
How did you communicate?
$$$$$ Needles “the Snitch” $$$$$
I speak 47 languages and I can read and write in 39 of those. Mandarin Chinese is second nature to me from back when I oversaw the construction of the Great Wall.