Segment: Chronic announces next week's main event

[Shane Powers]

*The ExWA cameras flair to life in the backstage hallways of the ExWA Arena. Chronic walks down the hall and the fans cheer, expecting him to give a clue, or even tell everyone what he has chosen for next weeks Main Event on Action Zone. Chronic puffs on a joint hanging from his lips like a freight train. The look on his face is one of worry and concern. He passes by Shady who is yelling at one of the costume designers. In his hands is a pair of crumpled up red wrestling trunks*

Shady: Not only is it the wrong color, but also you morons spelled my name wrong! What’s wrong with you?

*Shady holds the trunks out to show the lady. Across the back are the letters S…H…A…D…I. He throws the trunks down on the table in front of the woman. *

Shady: It’s S…H…A…D…Y! Not I! I’m not a woman! I need this fixed right away. I need them for my match tonight. And remember, white trunks, red letters. Not the other way around.

Costume Designer: I’m sorry about the mix up. I’ll get to work on these right away.

Shady: Thank you.

*Shady turns and spots Chronic walking down the hall. He jogs to catch up.*

Shady: Hey Chronic! Wait up!

*Chronic slows his pace to allow Shady to catch up. When he does, Shady walks beside Chronic.*

Shady: So, Chronic…have you decided on a Main Event for Action Zone next week?

Chronic: Yes, I have. I’ll be making my announcement later in the show.

Shady: Am I in the Main Event? Maybe for a title?

Chronic: I’m sorry Shady, not this time. Three Shades of Sin have a little unfinished business and we plan to finish it at the next Action Zone. Wanna hit this?

*Chronic offers the joint to Shady. He shakes his head no. *

Shady: Naw man, I’m strait. Thanks anyway. But if you have already made up your mind, why do you look to worried?

Chronic: Well Dude, it’s like this. When I beat Spike and won the right to name the next Main Event on Action Zone, I thought really hard. I don’t want to screw this up, I take this responsibility very seriously. I just hope when I do my announcement tonight it shows.

Shady: I’m sure it will. From what I’ve been told you are one of the hardest working wrestlers in ExWA. You don’t have a thing to worry about, your announcement will be great.

Chronic: Yeah, but if I don’t find a suitable location to do my announcement from, my announcement might not BE at all. I better figure out what I’m gonna do. Good luck on your match tonight and in the rap off. I’ll be watching that with lots of interest.

Shady: Thanks. Good luck in your tag team title defense. I’ll talk to you later.

*Shady walks off in the direction of the ExWA Café, the nickname given to the catering facilities in the arena. Chronic continues on down the hall, puffing on his joint and thinking. Suddenly, he stops, turns and looks at a door. The nameplate on the door reads “Assistant Xtreme Zone GM Needles”. Chronic stops and stares at the door for a moment before shrugging and muttering under his breath.*

Chronic (To himself): Hmmm. Why not? Just to check it out.

*Chronic gently raps on the door and waits. Nobody answers. Chronic tries the doorknob to find the door unlocked. He opens the door and pokes his head in. *

Chronic: Hello? Anyone home?

*Hearing no answer and seeing no one inside, Chronic decides to take a look around the office. He smiles as he sees the setting he’s been looking for to make his announcement from. Suddenly he hears a voice behind him. *

Needles: Um…can I help you?

*Chronic spins around to see Needles standing in the open doorway. Needles sees that Chronic is smoking. *

Needles: I’m sorry, there’s no smoking in my office. I’m afraid the fumes from tobacco make my allergies go wild.

Chronic: This isn’t tobacco. It’s weed. It’s good to meet you, Needles. I’m Chronic from Action Zone.

Needles: Yes, of course. I knew that. Young Chronic. Don’t you know that you’re my Idol?

Chronic: I thought Rusty won your Idol Contest.

Needles: Um…yeah…ahh…but you’re my Idol on Action Zone. He’s my Idol on Xtreme Zone. Yeah that’s it. Besides you never signed up for the contest.

Chronic: That’s true. You look nervous. Here hit this, it’ll calm your nerves.

Needles: Dare I?

Chronic: Go ahead. It’s in my contract that since marijuana is a part of my gimmick that I can’t be fired nor will any drug charges be brought against me or anyone I associate with. It’s a pretty sweet deal.

*Needles smiles and takes the joint. He takes a couple of hits and passes it back to Chronic. They pass the joint back and forth until it’s smoked down to the roach. Needles sits behind his desk, completely relaxed and looking baked out of his mind. Finally he looks over at Chronic. *

Needles: Oh, yeah…I forgot.

Chronic: Forgot what?

Needles: Um…I don’t remember.

*Needles and Chronic burst out into uncontrollable stoned laughter. After a few moments, Needles regains his composure. *

Needles: Oh yeah, that’s it. What’s on your mind? Why did you need to see me so bad that you would just walk into my office?

Chronic: Oh, that. I have to give an announcement on Action Zone tonight and I was wondering if I could use your office to make the announcement from. Your office is great and perfect for the setting I had in mind. I’m actually quite nervous about it.

Needles: I have no problem with that. I’m always happy to help. And don’t worry about making that announcement. I see a lot of potential in you and I know you will do great. I’ll even give you some pointers.

*The camera slowly backs away, backing through the door to the Xtreme Zone Assistant GM’s office. The door closes and the camera continues to capture the image of the closed door as the scene fades to black*

[Shane Powers]

*The ExWA cameras flair to life inside the Xtreme Zone Assistant GM’s office. Chronic sits behind the desk. He is dressed in a black suit, his hair is slicked back and Chronic looks very professional. He looks into the camera and clears his throat. *

Chronic: Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. As everyone knows, it has fallen upon me to decide what the main event will be at the next Action Zone. I have thought long and I have thought hard to come up with a match that I think will be unique and exciting and will propel Shades Of Sin into legendary status.
Next Action Zone I have decided to book a match between not just two wrestlers, but between two factions. The participants in this match will be Vegito, Shadow, and myself versus Randy Orton, Triple D, and Tony Lee for control of the Hardcore Title in a T.H.C. Match. I came up with the idea for this match while playing Smackdown: Shut Your Mouth on my PS2. I created myself as a character in the game and joined with The Hurricane (Whom I call Captain Hydroponic) and RVD (Before I came along when RVD was in ECW, he was the wrestling spokesman for the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws. Now I’m the Wrestling Spokesman for NORML) and called our stable T.H.C. after the chemical in marijuana that causes people to get stoned. I also said that T.H.C. stands for The Highflyer Crew. It came to pass that T.H.C. was booked in a T.L.C. match and I thought to myself, “Why not a T.H.C. match?” So I thought about what a T.H.C. Match might consist of. This is what I came up with.
A T.H.C. Match is three matches in one. All three matches are 6 Man Tornado Style. The first two are team vs. team and the last is every man for himself. The survivor wins the Hardcore title. The “T” is the first match and stands for a Taipei Deathmatch. That’s right! All participants will have their hands wrapped, dipped in pinesap and then dipped in razor sharp shards of glass.
The “H” is the second match and stands for Hell in a Cell. All six men will battle it out in, around and on top of an enclosed thirty-foot high steel cage.
The “C” is the last match and stands for Chamber…as in the Elimination Chamber. The last man to walk out of the chamber will be crowned The Hardcore Champion.
Oh, and one last little detail before I have a stoner moment and forget to mention it…All of the Chambers in the Elimination Chamber will be filled with pot smoke and all participants must spend the first five minutes inside their chamber before the first two chambers will open.
So that is my choice for the Main Event at the next Action Zone. I hope you all will enjoy watching this match as much as I will enjoy being a part of it. Thank you.

*The camera slowly backs away as the scene fades to black